Nov. 15 - Arnold Schwarzenegger is an actor playing a governor and no one seems to mind. But when the governor of Maryland recently tried his hand at acting, the state's political establishment went into a tizzy.

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The problem is not that Gov. Bob Ehrlich spent $2.7 million of taxpayer money on the state's "Seize the Day Off" tourism ads—anyone could see that's a petty partisan smokescreen. Clearly, the real problem (if the presidential election teaches us anything) is that America is just not ready for openly thespian politicians. 

And I think this is a great shame. Why? Because Bob Ehrlich may just be the greatest actor of his generation of governors. There is not a politician working today who dons a power suit, stiffens a helmet of hair and reads a cue card better. And I say that fully aware of Idaho Governor Dirk Kempthorne's outstanding work in a series of potato industry ads a few years ago, in which he played opposite a popular character known as Spuddy Buddy. Those ads set a new benchmark for gubernatorial drama (eclipsing the prior leader, former New Jersey Governor Tom Kean looking into the camera and declaring—in a pitch-perfect British accent—"New Juhsey and you: Puhfect Tuhgethah").

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But opposition parties do what they must. Democratic state lawmakers in Maryland are already planning to introduce legislation that would restrict Ehrlich's ability to appear in promotional or public service ads. (At least a half-dozen other states already have laws that limit appearances by governors in such ads, particularly in the months before an election). In a hearing last week to examine whether Ehrlich's ads, and tourism ads featuring elected officials in general, do more to promote the politicians than the state they represent, chairman John A. Hurson (D-Montgomery) accused Ehrlich (a Republican) of crossing the line "from non-partisan public service announcements into personal partisan political advertising with taxpayer resources!"  Talk about an unfair one-star review! Clearly the Maryland Democrat is an embittered chorus boy who never got his big break.

But you don't have to take it from me, a guy who's always been a sucker for leading men. So to help with this story, I called in Andrew Clateman, one of New York's top actors (and when I say "top actor," I mean that Clateman recently starred in my Off-, Off-Broadway production of "An Evening of Semi-Autobiographical, Highly Self-Indulgent Theater" and has agreed, despite no budget for salaries whatsoever, to play the villainous sport-utility vehicle designer in my forthcoming hit, "SUV: The Musical!").

I showed Clateman all three of Ehrlich's TV spots from Maryland's "Seize the Day Off" campaign (you can see them at www.mdisfun.org/virtual/default.asp). In the ads, Ehrlich plays a Maryland governor so eager to have non-Marylanders enjoy the recreational bounty of his state that he drops in and offers to finish menial chores so they can drive to Maryland. Ehrlich is a bit stiff, but in that stiffness Clateman saw genius.

"He is so believable in the role of a nerdy governor," Clateman said. "And his voice has just enough desperation as to make you believe that you must go to Maryland, lest he suffer a nervous breakdown."

If Clateman found any faults, it was the governor's lack of warmth, which is not only valuable on the casting couch, but on screen as well. "He needs to put his arm around these people and say, 'Heyyyyy, lemme paint that wall for you.'"  Still, Clateman added, "This is a governor who is not afraid of dramatic tension. He walks into people's houses and inserts himself into their lives, fully knowing the degree to which politicians, even ones offering to do home repairs, are detested in our society. That's a gutsy choice."

How good is Ehrlich? Simply, put, there's not another governor in this country fit to carry his make-up kit. Clateman and I reviewed tapes of other working actors masquerading as the nation's governors and found that what they lack in leadership they don't even make up in screen magnetism (remember: There are no small roles, only small state tourism budgets).

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Colorado Governor Bill Owens, for example, looks friendly enough standing atop one of his state's signature mountain peaks, but he describes the "world of excitement" in Colorado with all the enthusiasm of a man announcing a highway paving contract. Clateman agreed that the stiff Owens should have been more enthusiastic. "If Ehrlich lived in Colorado, this commercial would have had the governor snowboarding down some double-diamond trail screaming 'Cowabunnnnggaaaaa!'"

New Mexico Governor Bill Richardson is often touted as a possible presidential candidate, but if so, he'd better work on his acting skills. His state may be the Land of Enchantment, but Richardson seems neither enchanted nor enchanting. If Ehrlich was running New Mexico, he'd be handing out peyote buttons and wearing blue-tinted sunglasses like those donned by the Byrds co-founder Roger McGuinn.

Pennsylvania Governor Ed Rendell doesn't bother to take off his formal suit, even as he stands in front of his state's beautiful vistas. "And instead of moving his hands like he's offering a bold new tax initiative, he should have been interacting with nature," Clateman said. "It's like he's endorsing a candidate, not his state. All that's missing is the podium with the state seal on it."

North Carolina Governor Mike Easley is so uninspired that he didn't even leave his living room. And what's with Easley's oddly shifting accent? "I can't tell if he's a Southerner, a Yankee who likes chitlins or Tom Kean after a couple glasses of wine," Clateman said. 

Ohio Governor Bob Taft may well be the worst actor in statewide politics today. Not only did he have to read a cue card for his only line ("Start discovering Ohio!") but he mugs for the camera like David Spade on Ritalin, waves his hands in the air like an Iraqi insurgent surrendering to a Marlboro-smoking Marine and spits out the state's slogan as if it's an order, not a request. If he had only studied Dame Judi Dench's classic "Voice and the Performer," the line "Start discovering Ohio!" could have beckoned the would-be vacationer to begin an exploration of the great Buckeye state. Instead, Taft approaches the role like a whip-brandishing taskmaster commanding residents of the other 49 states to make the obligatory pilgrimage.

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Even actor-turned-governor Arnold Schwarzenegger could take lessons from Ehrlich. The California Gubernator appeared earlier this year in a series of ads touting California agriculture, but his thick accent and even thicker throat phlegm made it sound as if he was still struggling to get out of  the paranoid, computer-induced dream state he fell under in "Total Recall." But you must give Arnold some credit: Former Gov. Gray Davis didn't even appear in the prior version of the ads—and we all know what happened to him.

So given that a true acting prodigy is running the statehouse in Annapolis, I find it impossible to understand why Ehrlich has become such a target in his home state. And lest we forget, his Democratic predecessor Parris Glendening appeared in the same ads before Ehrlich did. Re-watching Glendening's versions of these ads—which featured him superimposed onto images of Maryland scenery, not even walking around the supposedly beautiful state—made me wonder if Glendening was channeling Forrest Gump. Yet unlike the Ehrlich ads, for some reason, no one in Maryland complained then.

Then again, perhaps Glendening was such a lousy actor that his constituents didn't realize that he was even governor.

Gersh Kuntzman is also a reporter for The New York Post. Check out his rudimentary website at http://www.gersh.tv

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