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| Dog-gone Good! | |||||||
| Our columnist offers praise for the ‘sport’ of competitive eating and its star, Takeru Kobayashi, the first three-peat winner in the history of Nathan’s annual hot dog eating contest | |||||||
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| July 7 — Maybe this makes me a traitor to my country in Ann Coulter’s book, but on July 4, I was rooting for the Japanese guy. |
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SURE, IT WAS our national Independence Day holiday, but Takeru Kobayashi was trying to seize the sports world’s last great Holy Grail: The first-ever “three-peat” at the annual Nathan’s hot dog eating contest at Coney Island. It’s been done in basketball, baseball and hockey repeatedly, but no one in the 88-year history of the Nathan’s contest had ever won it three times in a row. Wolfing down hot dogs (and buns!) on one of the hottest days of the summer is that grueling an event. I should know. In nearly a decade of covering the sport of competitive eating, my Pulitzer-worthy scoops and shoe-leather exclusives have earned me nicknames like “The Homer of Hot Dogs,” “The Bard of Buns,” and “The Single Biggest Hack on the Planet” (that last one was furnished by my competitors at rival newspapers after I broke the story about the “Belt of Fat” theory — that Americans possess a “belt of fat” that prevents the stomach from expanding to the extent needed to hold dozens of hot dogs — a couple years ago). Regardless of my reputation, I prefer to think of myself as just a humble reporter with a nose for a good story (oddly, they always smell like garlic). As a journalist, I’ve seen all the hot dog-eating legends come and go. Kobayashi first got on my radar screen when he won Japan’s nationally televised pan-seared cow-brain-eating contest. Kobayashi is a man who can take competitive eating to the next level of international recognition. True, the Olympic movement has been unreceptive to making competitive eating an “exhibition” sport at the 2012 summer games, but the ascendance of this universally popular sport is undeniable. Where eating contests once provided the comic relief at state fairs or harvest festivals, they are now increasingly the main event. How important is this sport? Let’s put it this way, the International Federation of Competitive Eating is now represented by William Morris (and I mean the actual William Morris Agency in Hollywood). It is signing production deals left and right. (For now, they all seem to end up on Fox — like “Glutton Bowl” — but, hey, it’s a start). And Kobayashi recently signed his own Nike deal in Japan, making him as big a star in that country as Ichiro Suzuki, Hideki Matsui and, of course, the white, featureless cat from “Hello Kitty.” But that past was merely prologue for Kobayashi’s date with history on Friday. The afternoon started off with high hopes for the 25-year-old from Nagano. Befitting his status as the champion, Kobayashi was carried in on a hot-dog-emblazoned bier hoisted by four bodyguards. Fans threw white carnations at the world-record-holder as if he were a Hindu god. I am not making this up. That’s how revered this man is - even to American competitive eating fans (sorry, Ms. Coulter). But you didn’t need to be a hard-core member of the frankagencia to see that Kobayashi would not break the record he set last year - a phenomenal 50 1/2 hot dogs and buns in 12 minutes, a record that is the competitive eating equivalent of a 250-game hitting streak or running a two-minute mile. Yet Kobayashi had vowed to break the record this year. Kobayashi started slowly and labored throughout, repeatedly jiggling his body in hope that gravity would aid digestion. Employing his trademark “Solomon” method - he breaks the hot dogs in half before downing them - he’d consumed 28 hot dogs and buns at the midway point, a phenomenal amount, but significantly off last year’s pace. Still, by the end, he’d downed 44 3/4 hot dogs and buns - more than 14 ahead of his next-closest challenger. If anyone doubted that Kobayashi has the heart of a lion (he ate that after the cow brains, apparently), consider how miserable he felt after the contest. And it wasn’t physical; it was mental: Here was an athlete who actually felt bad for the fans. “I don’t know what went wrong,” he said afterwards, surrounded by autograph seekers and media from all over the world. “I have let down the Japanese people. They were all pulling for me to break it.” This being America - where the notion of being a good loser went out with the space race - the carping began immediately. Some of Kobayashi’s opponents believed that the less-than-perfect victory foretold the end of his reign. “Koby is in trouble,”said “Crazy Legs” Conti, who ate a disappointing 15 hot dogs. |
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But even he admitted that it’ll be years before the Americans will end Japan’s nearly decade-long domination of competitive eating. “Koby is still the greatest athlete in the world...But someday, an American will beat him.” I tracked down competitive eating fan Lenny Amarosa, who shows up hours early every year just so he can he can get a good vantage point. Like me, Amarosa has seen all the greats - but unlike me, has been reluctant to give the Japanese champions the credit that they so richly deserve. After the contest, Amarosa was gloating. “I told you Kobayashi was losing it, and I was proven correct,” he said. “I think he’s done. Sure, he’ll win - maybe even for a few years - but there’ll be no more records. America is going to find a new guy, someone out of nowhere, and get that belt back!” Nathan’s spokesman George Shea, however, declared Kobayashi’s win “historic.” “To me, it was a stupendous performance. OK, maybe Takeru won’t again ascend the peak of Olympus,” added Shea, “but as far as I’m concerned, he has already dined with the gods.” Shea was even more excited by the abject failure of former National Football League star William “The Refrigerator” Perry to even come close to competing with some of the worst eaters on the IFOCE circuit. Perry ended the contest having downed a mere 4 hot dogs and buns. “This should again shut up the dim-witted detractors of denigration,” said Shea. “How can anyone seriously argue that Takeru Kobayashi is not the greatest athlete on the planet when one of the greatest football players is beaten so badly?” Gersh Kuntzman is also a columnist for The New York Post who once ate 12 hot dogs and buns in 12 minutes. His website is at www.gersh.tv © 2003 Newsweek, Inc. | ||||||||||||||||||
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