The diagnosis is Anthrax Envy.

From the halls of the Congress to the newsrooms of this city, anyone who
 hasn't yet contracted the dread bacteria anthrax has come down with an
 even more bizarre malady: jealousy for those who DID.

It sounds amazing. It sounds unsympathetic. It sounds incredible. But in
 a city where power brokers are always on the lookout for slights, some
 people are insulted that Osama bin Laden didn't deem them worthy of
 receiving one of those tell-tale suspicious packages.

"How come I (THE I SHOULD BE ITALIC) didn't get anthraxed?" one prominent
 reporter in town asked -- and she was only partially joking.

Jokes about anthrax may seem tasteless, but they're been fully sanctioned
 by Mayor Giuliani. "We've got to joke about this," he said at a news
 conference the other day. "It's the only way we're going to all get
 through it."

At that news conference, by the way, the mayor announced that all the
 city's major newspapers would be tested for anthrax.

"What about the SPANISH papers?!" yelled someone -- clearly another
 victim of anthrax envy.

Clearly, for journalists, some serious self-image issues get stirred up
 when you're not one of bin Laden's pen pals.

"We were actually relieved when Rather finally got his envelope [laced
 with anthrax] because we were feeling left out," said one staffer at
 CBS. "It was like, `What, did Osama bin Laden read the [Neilson] ratings
 and just decide that we weren't important enough to bother with?' We
 felt we were still running third -- this time in the anthrax ratings."

The center of the anthrax envy epidemic seems to be the newsroom of The
 New York Times, where reporter Judith Miller got anthraxed, presumably
 over her book "Germs: Biological Weapons and America's Secret War."

In one week, Miller became a target of anthrax AND anthrax envy.

"The speculation is that the [anthrax] letter had been sent by either the
 book publicist or by one of her co-authors, Steve Engleberg or Bill
 Broad," said one Timesman. "I mean, it makes sense, right? One anthrax
 envelope and she was on `Today' and `Larry King Live.'"

Another Times reporter dismissed that jealousy-laced charge, but still
 shared her own anthrax envy. "She's now the Scud Stud of the newsroom, a
 brave warrior and a princess in danger," she said. "I can't imagine how
 many men are propositioning her."

Of course, it's not just New York journalists who contract anthrax envy.
 An epidemic of the illness hit Washington, D.C. late last week after the
 offices of Sen. Tom Daschle tested positive. While the Senate stayed in
 Washington to conduct the people's business, members of the House of
 Representatives ("Wimps!" we called them in this newspaper) high-tailed
 it outta there rather than risk exposure to the spores.

Naturally, members of the Senate took advantage of the situation to
 gloat, offering the ugly flip-side of anthrax envy: anthrax ego: "It
 wasn't their finest hour," New Jersey Sen. Bob Torricelli said after the
 House adjourned in fear.

And did we hear a bit of anthrax envy from vice president Dick Cheney the
 other night? Finally allowed to leave his secure, isolated station for
 last week's Al Smith dinner in New York, Cheney quipped, "It's nice for
 a change to be at a DISCLOSED location."

He actually sounded jealous that his boss gets to stay in harm's way
 while he's confined to a bunker somewhere.

Fortunately, at The Post, we know what Cheney is missing. Last week, our
 "colleagues" at the Daily News taunted us because their newsroom was
 tested by federal agents before ours was.

Well, we showed them, didn't we? Saturday's Post front page -- which
 featured our own newsroom hero, anthraxed reporter Johanna Huden -- was
 a great "Screw you!" to our News counterparts.

We got anthraxed -- twice! -- and they didn't!

Now who's envious?

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