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A very wise philosopher once said, "Before attacking your enemy, you should dine at his table."

That's nice in theory, but on the eve of America's impending invasion of Iraq, an exhaustive investigation by
 The Post revealed that there is not a single Iraqi restaurant in the five boroughs.

In a city of 8 million -- where every national cuisine from Afghani to Yugoslavian are deliciously represented
 along with plenty of tribal, nomadic and ethnic subcuisines -- the estimated 957 Iraqis living in New York do
 not have a restaurant to call their own.

But one man is breaking down the U.S.-Iraq wall of enmity one lamb kabob at a time. True, none of Salam
 al-Rawi's downtown restaurants -- the exceptional Mamlouk and two Moustache eateries -- are exclusive outposts
 of that elusive commodity known as Iraqi cuisine, but they do offer a rare glimpse under the burqa that
 shrouds day-to-day eating under Saddam Hussein.

For example, did you realize that there really is no such thing as "Iraqi cuisine"?

"It's true. Even in Iraq, there are no Iraqi restaurants," al-Rawi told me. "Iraqi food is simple grilled meats
 and stews. All our refined dishes come from Iran."

Even national dishes such as pacha (a broiled lamb head whose description is best kept vague) and sabzi (a
 spinach and black-eyed-pea stew) are Iranian. That's so pathetic that instead of bombing Iraq, we could
 demoralize it into surrender by dropping leaflets reminding Iraq of its cultural debt to Iran. No wonder
 Saddam deported 3 million Iranians from Iraq. He was obviously jealous.

Not that al-Rawi doesn't have his culinary pride. The 47-year-old, who fled Baghdad in 1977, speaks lovingly of
 the lunchtime stews shared by garbagemen and government officials, the late-night grilled fish joints, the
 whole turnips boiled in date syrup, and the crisp Iraqi lager that he might serve at his restaurants were it
 not for U.N. sanctions.

And don't get him started on manelsama, a nougat ball made out of hazelnut sap that is indigenous to
 Kurdish-controlled northeastern Iraq. "It is so fantastic that it is imitated all over the Middle East,"
 al-Rawi said. As proof, he called over a Lebanese waiter, who, despite an obvious sense of culinary
 superiority, admitted that manelsama is a true treasure (and explains why Saddam is so desperate to hold onto
 Kurdistan.)

It all sounded delicious. And maybe someday we'll all be able to eat at a genuine "Iraqi restaurant" -- if we
 can just remember the message of Salam al-Rawi's first name.

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gersh.kuntzman@verizon.net