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Old Parks commissioners don't die. They just become Public Advocates.

Certainly, that's true in the case of former Parks Commissioner Betsy Gotbaum, now the city's elected Public
 Advocate.

But it's also true about Henry Stern, the toga-wearing parks commissioner under Mayors Giuliani and Koch who is
 your new PRIVATE public advocate.

Today marks the first-week anniversary of Stern's attempt to get back in the game after his 14 years as Parks
 Commissioner ended with the ascent of Michael Bloomberg. He's doing it through an organization he calls "New
 York Civic," which, for now, consists of Stern, piles of newspapers, and what every would-be gadfly needs, a
 phone (which rings incessantly, although sometimes with wrong numbers).

"But this is only the beginning," Stern promised, diminishing the "one angry man" look of his bare office.
 "This is a fresh start because I'm doing what I always wanted to do: advocate good government as an individual
 rather than a public official. The highest title really is 'Citizen.'"

Stern, who tends to dress entirely in green, like some arboreal Johnny Cash, and still uses his Park moniker,
 StarQuest, has some experience with out-of-governmental-body experiences. During that forgettable four-year
 period between the last Koch administration and Giuliani's first inauguration, Stern was executive director of
 Citizen's Union, a supposedly non-partisan group where Stern's strong opinions sometimes got him into trouble.

Expect the same. Armed with a soon-to-be-launched website -- nycivic.org -- and subscriptions to all the daily
 papers, Stern will be a one-man shadow government, advocating "in favor of general good and against the narrow
 demands of specific special interests. We will opposed NIMBY [Not In My Back Yard] and BANANA [Build
 Absolutely Nothing Anywhere Near Anybody]. If the city wants to build something for the greater public good,
 we will support it."

Stern's position papers will be published in a "Letter from Starquest" posted every day on the website. "It'll
 be part narrative, part picaresque, part commentary on what's going on," he promised.

His first such letter was released last week. In it, Stern jumped right into the fray of New York civic life,
 calling for a guide book that would list "the year of construction of all New York buildings" and "deepen
 people's understanding of, and interest in, architecture."

The letter also complimented the "very good frittata" served at a recent Bloomberg speech and praised the
 Sanitation Department for closing a filthy deli near his office.

And that's just the beginning. Stern already vows to take on the Board of Education -- "Biligual education is a
 racket!" -- and even World Trade Center widows who sue the city -- "That's an injustice! It's not the city's
 fault that Sept. 11th happened!"

And, of course, there's Stern's pet project, the American Association for the Advancement and Appreciation of
 Animals in Art and Architecture. A single dollar buys you a lifetime membership in this group devoted to
 promoting -- as Stern did as Parks Commissioner -- the use of animal imagery in new construction.

Getting caught up in the moment, I gave Stern a buck and he handed me a card certifying that I was a "member in
 good standing" of the "Seven A's." And then he slipped the dollar into his back pocket.

"StarQuest, I asked naively, "are you STEALING that dollar from me?"

"No," Stern replied. "That's my back LEFT pocket! That's my Seven A's pocket!"

Whew. For a minute there, I thought I'd been had.

--30--

gersh.kuntzman@verizon.net