Need a thumb tack? 

Well, you could go to the store and buy a package of 50 new, razor-sharp
 push pins for a buck. Or you could call Geoff Lupo and get a somewhat
 dulled one for 35 cents.

Of course, that includes delivery. And for another 35 cents, he'll throw
 in a used pen cap.

Is this guy for real? That depends on your definition of real. No, Geoff
 Lupo's thumb tacks are no threat to Staples -- but Lupo may just be one
 of New York's great underappreciated artistic geniuses.

His "Thumb Tack for Sale" posters, and others like it that are hanging on
 lampposts all over town, are more than just an offering of goods, but a
 satire of our mundane business culture and a lampoon of the myth that
 the customer is always right.

But you don't have to believe me.

"These posters are a serious work of art and a particularly urban one,"
 said Tom Hoving, former director of the Metropolitan Museum of Art and
 author of "Art for Dummies." "They are a statement on commerce. And the
 drawings are very reminiscent of Warhol's shoe series."

This masterful series of posters began last summer with "Piece of Wood,
 $5," a critical success albeit a commercial flop. Although the posters
 were hanging for months, Lupo did not even receive one call.

"I realize now that it was too expensive," he said.

Next came Lupo's breakthrough work, "Pencil Sharpener, $2." Two dollars
 might seem like a lot for a used plastic pencil sharpener, but not when
 you're buying the empty promise of consumer satisfaction.

"You really can't put a price on that," said Lupo.

One would-be customer did, haggling Lupo down to 75 cents, yet handing
 over only a quarter and a Band-Aid when Lupo delivered the sharpener.

"I had a cut, so I took the deal," Lupo explained. "And then it turned
 out to be one of those lousy, tiny Band-Aids. I felt cheated. And then I
 felt that if I felt cheated, that's part of the whole project, too."

Lupo began to hit his stride earlier this year with the exhilarating
 "Nail Clipper...Hardly used!" Critics complained of Lupo's overzealous
 use of the exclamation mark, but hygienically needy folk responded.

"In reality, it was `very used,'" he said. "I ended up buying a new one
 for $1, so I guess I lost 50 cents on the deal."

Next, Lupo offered "Used Marker for Sale. Completely out of ink. 45
 cents." Critics again quibbled with the use of the world "completely,"
 claiming it lacked the hit-over-the-head subtlety of his more famous
 works, but it remains a classic of the genre.

A couple of artistic failures -- "Cardboard box. 6" deep. 75 cents" was
 prurient and infantile while "Plastic Doughboy Heads. $2." was a
 sell-out -- were followed by what most critics consider Lupo's tours de
 force: "Pen Cap for Sale" and "Thumb Tack for Sale."

"Pen caps are still my biggest seller," Lupo told me. "Everyone's first
 concern is that it's been chewed. It hasn't. I do try to keep the
 customer satisfied."

That's no problem, considering that Lupo haggles about as well as a
 dyslexic used car dealer. When one man refused to pay 35 cents, Lupo
 settled for 10 (and then spent $3 in subway fare to deliver the goods).
 And a thumb tack purchaser gave him only 10 cents after comparing the
 sharpness of Lupo's thumb tack against a freshly purchased one.

But that's part of the work of art, too.

"The whole thing is like a game of tennis: Someone served, so I had to
 hit the ball back," said Lawrence Abrahamson, who saw Lupo's "Pen Cap
 for Sale" and bought one (and paid full price -- fool!). "I suggested
 that he must have found MY pen cap, but when he assured me that it
 wasn't, I bought one."

Abrahamson says he looks forward to more transactions.

"Maybe I'll buy a nail clipper," he said. "I do have problems with my
 nails."

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email: gershny@yahoo.com