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I've got some good news, some bad news and some really bad news.

Let's start with the good news: Last week, I was leaked park of the Audubon
 Society's forthcoming "Watch List," the semi-annual roster of birds that have
 become endangered by hunting, development or other causes. And the pigeon -- that
 disease-spreading rat with wings -- is on the list!

OK, now the bad news: It's not New York City's pigeon that's endangered, but three
 non-urban species.

Darn.

Now, before the animal lovers go crazy, let me say that I love animals. If the
 Band-Tailed Pigeon, the White-Crowned Pigeon or the Plain Pigeon was lost forever,
 I'd be devastated.

But city pigeons aren't animals. They're vermin! Not only do they carry disease, but
 there is nothing more repulsive than the sight of a pigeon pecking at a dirty
 French fry in a gutter. To rid the world of this blight is a noble pursuit. Or, as
 folkie Tom Lehrer once sang, "It's not against any religion/To want to dispose of a
 pigeon."

Estimates on New York's pigeon population range from half-a-million (officially) to
 45 billion (less accurate, yet oddly plausible). Even the top bird man at the
 Audubon Society begrudgingly admits that pigeons give real birds a bad name.

"There's a fine line between too many and too few," said Frank Gill, the Audubon
 Society's science chief, indicating that the common pigeon is in the "too many"
 category. 

But Gill cautioned anti-pigeon New Yorkers to be careful what they wish for. Just
 remember what happened to the passenger pigeon, once the country's most populous
 bird. 

"There were billions of them," Gill said. "They'd darken the sky. You could just
 fire in the air and cart off barrels of them."

But hunting and over-development eventually killed off the bird, and by the
 beginning of the 20th century, there were none left.

The lesson? "Just because a bird is common doesn't mean it can't disappear," Gill
 said.

Which brings us to the REALLY bad news. This year's "Watch List" -- which will be
 released tomorrow to much fanfare -- includes more than 200 birds, or roughly
 one-quarter of all species in the United States.

"The average bird in this country," Gill said, "is in big trouble."

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gersh.kuntzman@verizon.net