Did you hear the one about the Jewish steakhouse on the Lower East Side that hired a non-Jewish tummler? No, what's the punch line? Schmuck, that IS the punch line! Sammy's Roumanian Steak House -- an 80-year-old restaurant where the chicken fat flows like Manischewitz, the waiters belt out "If I Were a Rich Man" with virtually no prodding and every night is like your best friend's bar mitzvah -- has a non-Jewish singer named Rob Taube. And no one knows! "I can't believe he's not Jewish," said customer Irwin Krasnow, sounding like a margarine commercial from the 1980s as he listened to Taube sing "Bei Mir Bist Du Shayn." "He's so good!" Taube may be a goy -- a goy! -- but he's mastered every nuance, mannerism and spit-inducing consonant cluster of being a classic "tummler," that old vaudeville ringmaster that had its heyday on the Yiddish Lower East Side when Sammy's was "that new restaurant on Chrystie Street." Every Friday and Saturday night, Taube leads the Sammy's crowd -- suburban Jews in search of the fatty foods that Bubbie used to make and the old songs they remember from their Passover sedars -- through all the Yiddish classics. By the time he gets to his second "Hava Nagila" of the night, everyone is on his feet. And when he abandons the songs of Moses for those of another Jew named Manilow, the fun really begins. "At the Copa, Copacabana!" the audience screamed in unison, turning the tiny basement restaurant into a raucous, chopped-liver-fueled Jewish wedding. Even Sammy's famous flop-over-the-edge-of-the-plate steaks were abandoned in mid-gluttony in favor of the cathartic group dance. The crowd ate it all up, but the knowledge of Taube's Irish-Catholic upbringing gnawed at me, like I'd walked into the kitchen at Sylvia's and finding Alain Ducasse stirring the collard greens or discovered that Jackie Mason is giving the sermon next Sunday at St. Pat's. "Sure, he's not Jewish, but look at this crowd," said Sammy's manager Merrill Brown. "He gives the people what they want." And not even Freddie Roman, the great Borscht Belt comedian whom I contacted solely in hopes of generating controversy, had a problem with Sammy's non-Jewish MC. "The age of the Jewish tummler is over," Roman said with surprisingly little alarm. "New York is still the consummate melting pot, so I think it's great to have a non-Jew singing Jewish songs!" Taube, 45, might never have gotten a chance were it not for fate, that fickle taskmaster. A decade ago, Rob Taube was just another one of the poor, huddled masses yearning to make a name for himself as a musician in New York. He struggled at first, earning a few bucks as a sideman at an Israeli café, where he learned how to play Israeli and Jewish songs. He had played Sammy's a few times as a pianist, but on Rosh Hashana, 1994, history had greater things in store. None of Sammy's regular Jewish performers would perform on what is one of Judaism's most-important holidays, so the restaurant was so desperate that they begged Taube to take the microphone. "They asked me if I knew any Jewish songs, so I said, 'I can sing "Sunrise, Sunset," so they said, "You're hired!" ' " Taube recalled. "I got through the night somehow. After, they said if I learned the Yiddish songs, the job was mine." If he had merely learned all the words to "Diyenu," that would've been enough. But Taube got serious about his Jewish education, taking a Yiddish course at the Workmen's Circle (he was the only non-Jew in the class) and studying old songs with his landlady, a Holocaust survivor who was just happy to have a chance to share her favorite melodies with an eager student. The result is a steady gig at Sammy's, a CD cheekily titled, "Songs my Grandmother Never Taught Me" and a messianic approach to Jewish music. Taube, after all, was the guy who taught his guitarist -- a Jew, no less! -- all the old Yiddish songs. Perhaps it makes sense. Perhaps in a world where imitation is the highest form of flattery and you can get a fresh bagel in Bozeman, a non-Jew should be serving up cholesterol-laden portions of old Jewish memory. "Well, you know," said Mitch Fialkow of Queens, getting philosophical after being told about Taube's non-Jewish background, "Sammy Davis Jr. didn't look Jewish either." --30-- gersh.kuntzman@verizon.net