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Their ads are all over the subway -- "Skin Cola: Because Beautiful Clear Skin Begins from Within" -- but no one
 seems to know what Skin Cola actually is.

Being a jaded New Yorker, I never considered that Skin Cola was actually a beverage. The ads sounded too fake
 -- like something a sociology grad student would install as part of a study of human susceptibility to New Age
 mumbo-jumbo.

The Skin Cola website seemed to be pointing in that direction, too. My favorite was its description of this
 clear liquid as a "flavorless, non-carbonated beverage" (hmm, like water) that contains "chloride, sodium,
 chromium iodine, carbon, calcium, copper, lithium, iron, magnesium, potassium, phosphorus, selenium, sulfur,
 silicon, cobalt, and zinc" (hmm, like water), is "exceptionally helpful in hydrating the skin" (hmm, like
 water), and that people can drink "at any time" (hmm, like water).

The website explained that Skin Cola is the brainchild of Adam Zizmor and Jason Hirsch, who "believe that one
 should always feel good about themselves [sic], starting from the 'inside out.' And Skin Cola became their
 lifelong dream of helping people realize that beauty should always begin from within." (Oh, so that explains
 why it costs $3 for 10 ounces!)

If Zizmor's name is familiar, it should be. Most of us have blood in our
 skin, but Adam Zizmor has skin in his blood. His father is the famed subway dermatologist Jonathan Zizmor.
 Despite the pedigree, it sounded like Zizmor and Hirsch been spiking their Skin Cola with something stronger,
 so -- at great expense to this newspaper -- I took them to lunch.

"There's no better time for this beverage," Zizmor told me after we ordered. "Everything begins from within,
 and Skin Cola enhances it." The food hadn't even arrived, but I'd already had enough (let's just say I have an
 internal alarm that goes off whenever people want to sell me a load of crap).

"There are no products out there that express the thought that beauty begins from within," he complained. (I
 suggested Buddhism, but unfortunately you can't bottle it and sell it for $3.)

Zizmor and Hirsch gave me a bottle of Skin Cola and I downed it in two gulps. Delicious. Refreshing. And quite
 familiar. It was water.

"No, it's not," Zizmor said. "It's beyond water."

I didn't believe him, so -- again, at great expense to this newspaper -- I sent a bottle of Skin Cola to
 Associated Analytical Laboratories for a complete chemical breakdown. The results showed that Skin Cola is,
 drumroll please, water -- slightly more acidic and less rich with minerals, but water, nonetheless.

I called a dermatologist to see if beautiful skin really does begin. "Your skin does need water," said Dr.
 James Spencer, vice chairman of Mount Sinai Medical Center's dermatology department. "But this water is no
 better than any other water."

So it's a New Age scam, right? Confirming my suspicions, Hirsch and Zizmor forwarded me an email from a
 customer who claimed that "thanks to Skin Cola, my skin is starting to look amazing! After just four days, I
 saw a 50-percent improvement!"

The letter was signed by a woman who identified herself as "The Enchanted Broomstick and the Magickal Child of
 New York" [sic].


I rest my case.

--30--

gersh.kuntzman@verizon.net