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And you thought it was easy finding top-quality drag queens in The Bronx.

TV producer Eric Booth thought so, too, but when he held a well-publicized "open audition"
 last week for a host for his new Spanish-English talk show, "Fruta Extrana," only four
 people showed up.

And two of them were women.

"I can't believe those three queens from Long Island didn't come," said Booth, who is best
 known as the producer of The Bronx soap opera, "Strange Fruit," a low-budget classic that's
 been running on public access non-stop since 1997. It's developed such a cult following
 that Time Out recently called "Strange Fruit," a good reason to skip "The Sopranos" on
 Sunday nights.

"Eric Booth is the John Waters of the Bronx," said Charles Rice-Gonzalez, who has a
 recurring role as Cassio, a money-launderer for a homophobic councilman who is murdered and
 reborn as a vampire. "Eric does stuff that makes you say, 'Huh? What the hell?'"

Stuff? Let's put it this way, it's not uncommon for a drag queen to get pregnant -- and keep
 the child -- on "Strange Fruit."

Now, Booth is branching out. "Fruta Extrana" aims to be the gay "Today" show, or, as Booth
 puts it, "a talk show where we explore gayness to its fullest reality here in The Bronx,
 the city, the nation, the world -- whether it be in the closet or in your face."

And how better to do that then to have a drag host(ess)?

The class of the pack at Saturday's auditions was clearly Edwin Andino, who performs under
 the name Dona Dolores Fuertes de Barriga (the exotic-sounding name roughly translates to
 "Miss Stomach Cramps"). 

Andino sauntered in wearing a purple-and-gold, hand-beaded gown that looked like it was
 ripped off the back of a Bollywood star. But he was everything a drag performer should be:
 over-the-top, omni-sexual, fabulously self-referential -- and able to dance backwards in
 heels.

Sure, Andino's interview technique was stiffer than the whalebone corset holding up his 42-B
 chest, but his lip-synch of "Si Usted Mi Quiere (If You Love Me)" was good enough for the
 Super Bowl halftime show.

Next up was Jaimee Sommers, who punctuated every sentence -- funny or not -- with a grating
 "Hahaha, hahaha, hahaha" laugh that sounded like Woody Woodpecker played by John Leguizamo.
 The audition did not go well. Not only couldn't Sommers remember the script, but when he
 sang "Basta Ya!" he never could seem to get his lips to synch up to Olga Tanon's vocals. 

Next, the two women auditioned. Given this column's aggressive stance against female drag
 performers, I considered these auditions an abomination and won't waste valuable column
 inches to describe them. I've said it before and I'll say it again: women should not be
 playing men playing women.

The dearth of performers didn't meant that Booth didn't find his, er, man: Andino landed the
 gig of a lifetime. Booth also hired one of the women (damn him!).

"This is going to be a big break for me," Andino said.

Booth seemed pleased, too. "I lost my last host because she asked to be paid, but Edwin
 knows what the deal is."

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gersh.kuntzman@verizon.net