A picture in The New York Times on Sunday did more than just capture the gay marriage debate: In the photo, two newly married lesbian women are kissing while all around them, homophobes, bigots, haters and distorters of Christ's message of love taunt them with flame-covered signs reading, "Prepare to meet thy God!"

It's a striking image of love and hate in bloom. And so it's time to ask a question that has come up from time to time in our nation's history: Looking at that picture, it's time to ask yourself, "Which side are you on?"

Do you support young love or do you support the old hate? Do you stand for a future in which people are judged not by the slant of their sexual orientation, but the contents of their hearts? Or do you stand for the dark days of the past--when blacks were enslaved, women couldn't vote, people couldn't fall in love with someone of a different race?

In short, do you want to be a uniter, not a divider?

In the bi-polar world depicted in that Times photo, consider me on the side of people who want to get married--the ultimate conservative act–- rather than the fomenters of hate. And here’s why: Last week, I wrote a column in this space in support of gay marriage. I argued that as long as states are handing out marriage licenses that confer certain rights, they must be handed out without regard to one's race, creed, employment status, address or sexual orientation. Churches can do what they want, of course, but the state can't discriminate. And I argued that if divorce couldn't kill "traditional" marriage, neither would welcoming gays into this peculiar institution.

No single column of mine has ever generated as much hate mail as that simple argument in support of allowing people who love each other to marry. True, some of the letter writers hoped to engage me in a civil debate. But the majority saw my support for gay civil rights as a good opportunity to unleash wave after wave of hate. Oh, and some hoped that I would die a horrible death.

So, I ask again: Which side are you on?

Are you with Harold Love, who wrote that, "It's time all you queers be hung upside down on Main Street and shot"?

Are you with Karl Auleciems, who wrote, “I think that you are a great example why gays should still be in the closet and why gay marriage should not happen. You are one sick person!”?

Are you with Dan Terry, who wrote, “What an idiot you are…Lord, you guys [apparently he means gays, although I am not one] will say or do anything to justify sticking your s----- up each others’ b---, won’t you? Homosexuality is not civilized behavior and is more properly relegated to the behavior of animals.” When I wrote back and asked how he lives with such hate in his heart, he responded, “You are the hateful one. You hate our families and you hate decent society and you hate moral standards because you don't have any.  You homos started this, and now it's going to come down on you, and hard. You started this political war, and there will be no survivors on your side. Now, get back to the bath house toilet where you belong.”

Are you with Donald Grassell, who wrote, “You and your gay pals have souls and when your judgment day comes, you and your gay pals will rot in hell for eternity”?

Are you with Carolyn Pittard, who couldn’t seem to understand that the television set has an “off” button when she wrote, “You are an absolute lunatic! If you think it is okay for two men or two women to get married, you have lost touch with reality. Why do people like you want to destroy this country? You know as well as I do that this is an abomination to God. They look absolutely crazy on national TV hugging and kissing and talking about equal rights. I want rights also, and my rights are being intruded upon by putting this crap on TV and trying to ram this mess down my throat. If they want to do all this ungodly mess, do it in private.  I don't want to see it!  I don't want my children to see it!”

Are you with Judy Floyd, who wrote, “I just read your column and all I have to say is you are a fag or a fag lover”?

Are you with Sophia Lacey, who wrote, “What kinda sick person are you? When Adam was alone in the garden, who did God make to keep him company: Eve, not Steve!!!!!!!! If you wanna be gay, that’s your business. We all have to account for our own sins. But why make it legal? Keep it in the closet. The world and our kids are already confused. My daughter shouldn’t have to decide who to go to the prom with (male or female). If you wanna get pumped in the bump, that’s your business.”

Are you with M. Dickson, who wrote, “Why is it gays say they just want tolerance? They are the least-tolerant group I know. If you don’t accept them they label you as ‘vile’ and ‘hateful.’ If gays are so confident with their sexuality, why do they have to shove it in the rest of the world’s faces with parades?” [But I thought everyone <I>loves<I> a parade!]

Are you with Thomas Lloyd, who wrote, “Homosexuals deny God [with] their actions. Any means to justify your immoral, sinful, disgusting, and deviate behavior, perverting the gifts given by God. The only entity you are 'glorifying' is Satan! Marriage between homosexuals, mocks God, and destroys the sanctity of marriage, because it removes the meaning that God intended for marriage. When a society approves of a grievous sin against God, then it is doomed to be crushed by the hand of God. [We will] have another Sodom and Gomorrah.” When I reminded him that a God-neutral society is guaranteed by the Constitution, he responded with his bizarre description of a homosexual sex act and concluded, “Tell me this is normal. I guess eating out of your toilet, albeit a clean toilet, after it was used, is acceptable behavior???”  w If my email “inbox” is any indication, the culture wars are back on! So ask yourself, which side are you on?

Gersh Kuntzman is also Brooklyn bureau chief for The New York Post. His website is at http://www.gersh.tv/

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